The age of decisions completely based on self want are out the window. This is the dawn of Strength in Numbers, No 'I' in Team, and Everybody Find Your Safety Buddy. My home recording studio/office is already empty and ready to be converted into a nursery. In true Dad fashion, I got overly excited and sold everything 7 months before I had to. Now I sit on the floor because I don't have a desk or a chair. But pride outweighs self sacrifice. At least until I find a new desk and chair.

The FBI has Cocke County on its list of 100 Most F@%! Up Places to Vacation and they make sure to drop in every couple years to update their Zagat report.

Don't tell anyone but I recently turned into a 67-year-old man. My life is slowing down before my eyes. No more than 5 years ago, I was the off-the-cuff, seat-of-my-pants, hand-stands-in-my-inlaws'-living-room kind of guy. Today, I'm lucky if I can find a new answer for the crossword after I finish my morning oatmeal.

Einstein, when asked how he came up with his theory of special relativity, said he was daydreaming. Actually, he probably said, “Ich war Tagträumen.” You know, because’s he’s German. Boredom’s gotten a bad rap. It’s seen as a negative, neutral-zone purgatory which only leads to bad decisions (“Ugh, I’m so BORED. Want to run to...